greenlight district

My prayers ("Are you there, job? It's me, L-Rap!") are finally answered

For as much as I like to make fun of people/my friends for actually having jobs, it's all in good fun/Regina George Mean Girls behavior. IT'S BECAUSE I'M JEALOUS! I know people think "work sucks," but guess what - I LOVE to work, and as much as I did enjoy having a little break from it at the beginning of my hiatus, I really don't want to be unemployed. I'll gladly trade my couch for a cubicle, my granola bars and free bagels that were just going to be thrown out for actual foods - my sweatpants for REAL pants!
Well, greenlighters, the time has come for your beloved L-Rap to claw her way out of the working class with her real j.o.b. (that starts tomorrow - AH!) If you've been listening to me bitch, moan, and cry  following the saga of the whole interview process that I've been through and/or noticed that I've been living in a cave the past 5 weeks, I first apologize for being a gloomy gal, second thank you for your unwavering love and support that got me through this time, and third invite you out for drinks and dancing to celebrate my entrance into the working world and say good bye to my slaveage to minimum wageage!

And just for funtimes, let's take a look at a rundown of my work history:
Putt-Putt Miniature Golf Course (later renamed Putter's Paradise): Summers '01, '02, '03 - pay: $6.15/hour, benefits: all the Smartie's and Choco Taco's you can eat and free games for your friends
American Eagle Outiftters: short-lived summer job in 2002 - pay: $5.40/hour, benefits: 40-60% discount, ability to add "excellent t-shirt folding skills" to resume
Journey's: the minute I turned 16 until I left for college (2002-2004) - pay: I totally forget I just remember that I got laid off for a short period and then rehired for a higher rate...probably $6.50 then $7/hour, benefits: 35% off, special 50%, also ability to survive in any working environment that included: sexual harassment, working the storefront while different managers hung out in the backroom committing statuatory rape, stealing shoes, smoking pot, taking pregnancy tests, gambling, napping, fighting/throwing shoeboxes at significant others, cheating on fiancée, pooping in a box to send to another store.
Gadzook's: Summers '02, later in '04 to help them liquidate while the company went bankrupt. pay: ?? prob around $7/hour, benefits: a discount, becoming well accquainted with the Playboy line of clothing and accessories and the people that purchase said items
Pastino's (later renamed Rosario's, now closed): Summers '04, '05 - pay: $3.30/hour + tips, benefits: really good free food
NYU Phonathon: first few months of freshman year, pay: who cares, it was the WORST JOB EVER with no benefits except getting the chance to harass dying NYU alum
Media 4 Humanity: 2004 - 2005 - pay: internship, so just warm fuzzy feelings for doing good, benefits: two personal assisting jobs each $10/hour
Oren's Daily Roast: 2004 - 2007 - pay: $8-11/hour + tips, benefits: Nothing to snark about, really, truly the love of my service industry life! Made some of my best friends here and became a serious coffee snob from working here...
Dogsitting: 2005 - present - pay: good, benefits: getting to know dogs like Chester and Austin-pants
Interview: 2006 - pay: internship, benefits: free mags, indie cred, and paid freelance transciption work
Brooklyn Bread: 2009 - pay: $6.50/hour + tips, benefits: bagels, ability to master paying rent, utilities, and loans each month on less than $800 gross income
Assorted real jobs: Ryan Basic's & Sexy Beast, Entertainment Weekly/EW.com, Shecky's, lots of freelance writing

Boots with the rabbit fur!?

Oh, Flo-Rida! Why you be lettin' your friends kill rabbits on your tour bus and shit? In bizarre celebrity news that will piss PETA off hard (and has nothing to do with the Olsen twins): apparently some jerks on Rida's tour bus killed a rabbit for no reason out in public and now the police are questioning passengers to investigate this weird case of Peter Rabbit-esque cruelty. Allegedly, (and by "allegedly," I mean: "it's what I read on Perez Hilton") Flo later released a statement saying that he's an animal lover, duh, and would never let this happen! Now let's focus more on the apple bottom jeans and less on the boots with tha furr, okay?

Me and my Pop Culture Addictive Personality Disorder take on Twilight (and lose)

"Oh shit," I thought when I finally watched Twilight - when I realized exactly why I had been avoiding cracking open the book or Googling "Robert Pattinson." It's because I can't just simply enjoy such a sweet brand of cultural phenomenon and move on, if I fall for it then I live and die for it. My name is Lisa, I have Pop Culture Addictive Personality Disorder, and Twilight is my new drug of choice.

I'm like those alcoholics that can't hang out at a bar without funneling a bottle of tequila and lighting themselves on fire. I put some of the blame on the enablers I call my "friends" who should have known this before exposing me to Stephenie Meyers' trite teen drama and Robert Pattinson's chiseled (LIKE OUT OF MARBLE) gloomy gaze. Look at the facts: when I was 11 every girl my age was into Hanson or NSYNC or BSB or whatevs, but they all got over it. I'm the one that carries the torch a decade later (and cough cough, fucking met them and interviewed them no big deal cough cough) I've had similar relationships with others: Degrassi/The N, many a TV show that I've watched in its entireity over a weekend, JT , BritBrit - but quite possibly my lovelust for Twilight is even more potent. (KINDOFLIKETHELOVETHATEXISTSBETWEENBELLAANDEDWARDTHETRUESTLOVEINALLTHEWORLD)

So eff all of you for letting me watch the movie and read the books. I'm a few pages away from the end of New Moon, and I'm already clammy (or "palpy" as they say) for Eclipse. I sped through Moon just so (SPOILER ALERT) I could sleep at night knowing that Edward and Bella reunite. Although, I'm savoring the last 100 pages or so and don't know how the story ends so don't blow it for me. This is because I won't be able to handle it if something bad happens and they aren't together anymore. Um, no joke. Scary, I know. Help.

It's cool, Robert Pattinson, you can just keep staring at me like that, it's no big deal. It's not like my hands burn with a hundred fucking suns of passion to run my fingers through your impossibly beautiful locks. And your stubble is, like, whatevs, it's not like I die inside imagining what it would feel like to scrape against my cheek while you were whispering sweet nothings into my ear, you asshole.

It's cool, I just know Hanson

To mark my last day at E-Dubs, I'd like to take a moment of MMMBopping to celebrate my true entry into the world of freelance (unemployment!!) This week, as a really kick ass "goodbye" from my frenemies at Time Inc. I got to interview Hanson. Oh, sure, to you that may not be awesome, but let me try to explain it to you so that you'll understand: please think up your ultimate number one DREAM career goal ever in the world, then think of your childhood dream, then think of the thing that would mean the most to you personally, then imagine it involving your first real crush and/or your favorite band, then combine all of those ingredients and wait 11 years (or half of your life). Okay? NOW? LIVE.THAT.DREAM. Then try to make a joke about my meeting with Hanson. I dare you.

Anyways, Hanson was playing a concert at Nokia Theater in Times Square. This I knew and had already gotten tickets for. Then their publicist contacted Entertainment Weekly to get some roving reporters on the scene and of course I was like yeahokaysureyouwantmetointerviewHansonsurelikeyeahthatwouldbefineIguessIcouldfitthatintomyscheduleorsomethingandlikemakethatworksureyeahicandothat.

And, because Hanson is awesome like that and were so totally on the same page in life, their cause is more than appropriate to write about here as it involves both Africa and vegan footwear, two things I lurve. I knew Hanson was doing the Africa thang when I was also in Africa (I drop that a lot, my love of Ghana as well as my love of Hawai'i - two of the very few places I've traveled in my life besides Wildwood, NJ and the Cooperstown Baseball Hall of Fame). Since their initial journey to the Motherland in 2006, they have been working to get fans and friends to donate and be aware of HIV and poverty in Africa, first through teaming up with TOMS and donating a pair of shoes for each pair bought, then with their single "The Great Divide" where the proceeds for each download go towards AIDS treatment and research, and NOW they're doing "The Walk." In each city, before their concert they go for a barefoot walk and donate $1 for each fan and bystander that follows along. You can read more about it on their site, TaketheWalk.net and find a walk (and a Hanson fan) near you!! Or you can just donate anonymously online so you don't embarass yourself in front of all of your lame indie friends with your deep-rooted but closeted love for the brothers Hanson.

In a nutshell, because I could write a novel about my hour(ish) with Hanson, here are the top ten highlights in no particular order:
1. I got to interview them in their dressing room.
2. They made funny jokes-
3. -and I was actually able to contain my giggles and maintained some level of professionalism.
4. They loved that I went to Africa.
5. Hanson took off their shoes in front of me.
6. There was a camera crew there filming the interview for an upcoming documentary AND Isaac was also filming the interview personally.
7. They took me seriously as a journalist AND humored me as a fan. They even asked me to come back after the walk through Times Square so that I could ask more questions including some that I promised were from my 11-year-old self.
8. They were ridiculously passionate about The Walk and about spreading awareness and such about the issues, which made me fall in love with them all over again for all new reasons.
9. When they offered me a picture (see below) with them, Zac moved out of the way so that I could stand in between him and Taylor.

10. Then me and my H-loving BFFle got to sit VIP at the concert that night, NO BIG DEAL.

Read the article and join me in saying goodbye to the world of journalism "internships." For now ever